Friday, May 11

It hit me


That sinking feeling in your stomach when suddenly you realize the general feeling you have about the things that happen around you is about to change. I don't know if this happens to anyone else, but for some reason, no matter how hard I try not to feel it, this always happens to me. And I don't think it's the change that bothers me so much, but rather the lack of routine that comes in the transition periods (I am a massive creature of habit). So when I woke up from my nap with my heart pounding (as I've been doing the past few days for some reason) and thought about the fact that I don't have to go to class any more...it just hit me. I'm gone.

It was that feeling combined with this sudden longing for people around me to keep me sane, not thinking about ridiculous things like that. Dan leaves today for Budapest, so I feel like I've sort of finally lost that safety net I've taken advantage of this entire semester. Which is why it was nice to leave my room and start talking to Zuzana and Tomaš again. In an unfortunate twist of fate, Jonaš left this afternoon for a trip with his school, and might not be back here next week when I spend my last night in Prague. So I may never see him again.

But let's face it, I probably will. More on that in a bit.

Today goes down in history as one of the more interesting days of my life. I slept very little last night (it was as big a night as expected), but managed to get up, shower, and dress well (if I may say so) for our graduation ceremony. The debate was relatively interesting, and I got to give a speech at the end announcing the winner, which was pretty well-received. Of course the amazing part of this was looking out at all my new friends and realizing that all of them were having ridiculously foggy mornings themselves...

We progressed to another hall for the distribution of diplomas (a painful process. They called everyone's names. It took an hour. We were starving). Then it was time for the highlight of the day, a lunch cruise down the Vltava for two hours. It really was a perfect way to end this whole thing, forcing all of us to just be in one place for two hours, and to make it a place that lends itself to reflection and all that mushy stuff.

No one cried. We were all smiles. The boat took us under the Charles bridge, past the castle, through a lock, past Vyšehrad, and back again, and the whole time we all just munched on free food, talked, and took pictures. The one up there might prove to be one of my favorites of all time - Jon managed to wrangle up our entire Czech class (minus a few) and get us to pose with Dana and Bara, our teacher from the intensive course. We all just look so happy.

Afterwards, against my better judgment because I was exhausted, I went with a small group up to Letna Park, a place I haven't visited yet, to find a beer garden. It was a nice walk, and we whiled away an hour, just chatting in the soft breeze with the entire city we've all come to call home gazing back at us from over the river. It's so fun to get onto a hill here, because the entire city center is so flat that you can see it like it's a map. There's Florenc, where I missed the bus. And Old Town square. Beyond that, Charles Square, where Dan lives. Of course you can't miss the TV Tower, and its companion, the Žižka monument. And off in the distance, the center of it all for us, the two towers of Vyšehrad looking back with, believe it or not, seemingly proud eyes.

When I came here, I never thought it would be this way. I didn't expect this kind of a connection to this place. But this old crone has claws.

Tomorrow I'm packing up everything and enjoying the city one last time. Stephanie's still here, so I'll be hanging out with her too probably. For the first time I'm starting to see how much I'll miss this place.